Romance questions comprise a huge percentage of the topics that clients bring to me. Many of these inquiries arise when my client starts dating a new person because they're unsure about how that new person feels about them. Here are five questions to ask yourself when you are interested in someone new, but you're not sure if the feeling is mutual.
Do they ask the kind of questions that discern if you would make a compatible partner? When a person is looking for a great long-term partner, they will be curious about you. Do they ask you questions about your values? Your background? Whether we're close with your family? About how you like to spend your time? Does the person show interest in your life? Do they ask questions like, “What do you like about your life right now? If you could wave a magic wand and change something about your life, what would it be? Are you enjoying being single? Are you excited about finding a relationship right now? What is your experience with dating?" A potential partner should show genuine interest in you.
Do they follow up after a date? Texting someone after the date shows that they want to continue the momentum. If they don't text, but they're looking at your Instagram stories or liking your posts, it doesn't mean that they are serious about progressing things. It's more likely that they are keeping you on the roster in case they want to circle back later. This isn't necessarily bad, it just means that they are dating. It could happen in the future that they decide they want to prioritize you, but right now, they are not serious about you if they don't follow up.
Do they schedule plans with you? For instance, someone who asks you on a Tuesday night, “Do you want to have dinner with me on Saturday? I'd like to take you out for sushi." That person is interested because they are committing to seeing you in the future. If you get a text from the person you're dating, talking about sushi and how it would be so great to have sushi with you sometime, but they don't make a concrete plan to do so, then they are not genuinely interested. Don't live in future role-play land. Talk is cheap.
Once you've been dating a while, do they involve you in important decisions that they're making? They've been offered a job in another state. Or they're going to be unavailable for a month or two because of an important work project. Are they taking your feelings into account in their decision? Is it important to them that you are on board? Or are they indifferent to your reaction? Everyone's human, and sometimes people are self-centered and don't always ask the right questions. Give them a pass if it is an occasional occurrence, but if it becomes, or already is, a regularity ... red flag.
They want you to feel comfortable. For example, if they are hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex, they will want to introduce you so that you're not insecure. They will avoid ambiguity to ensure that you know that they are taking seriously their relationship with you.
Don't be afraid to walk away from people who demonstrate red flags at the onset. And remember, relationships take time to build. Don't be in a rush. Look at these five factors over the course of time, because someone's true nature, their character, can only be revealed over time.
If you have concerns about your love life (or lack thereof) book a reading with me to find out what's going on and how to improve your situation. Get the answers you seek today.
Are They Serious About You?
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